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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, rendering him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have NPD after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he is skeptical he would have taken the label without having already reached that conclusion by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been called narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception associated with the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, John was referred to a mental health professional for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number